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January 09, 2004

Talking of Which

I have been suprised by my reaction to the whole re-employment and financial security thing.

I'd always imagined a whole set of feelings I'd have when I got back into a position where I wasn't losing money, or moving from short-term gig to short-term gig - elation, potency, vindication - stuff like that.

But there hasn't really been any of that - even over a longer period. In fact there aren't really any new feelings at all.

What's making the difference is all the feelings I no longer have. As if the white noise generator in my head has been turned off, and my mind is left standing - confused and shaking slightly - in the remaining silence, realising it must have got used to the deafening din and wondering how.

Posted by Tom Dolan at January 9, 2004 04:20 PM

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Hey - that weird cottony silence? You know what that is?

It's not being sad any more.

Low grade background depression is a bit like the old BBC1 closedown. Solemn music, followed by a piercing 50hz tone, then kchxxsssssssssssssss.....

It's stunning what a body can get used to.

Posted by: Kim at January 9, 2004 06:14 PM

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