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July 02, 2002

Dislocated No 1 - 12:00 local time

I’m feeling incredibly disconnected today. The room with the internet connections has been locked and so I’m not able to send and receive emails, update the blog, or have AIM conversations with my nearest and dearest.

Suddenly it’s all got too much for me and I’m absolutely sick of being on show. People wanting to talk to me more about things in my talk rile me, so I retire to my room and sit in high dudgeon.

I look through the programme of events and realise I have seven days more of this. Which I don’t know how I’m going to survive. Despite today being a ‘day off’ we are meeting at 8pm tonight for drinks and ‘bonding games’.

Nothing fills me with more horror at the moment.

Despondent I sit on the bed, knowing that I can’t even SMS my wife for company as she’s on a tube back in London. I’m suddenly feeling like a 7 year old on a school holiday they didn’t want, and tears flood up. All the adrenalin and excitement have gone, and I’m now just utterly utterly homesick.

I look at the schedule again – we’re not even halfway through this visit and already I’ve had enough. Some people get to go home today – lucky bastards. Another wave of emotion hits me.

I wait and ring home – there’s a chance someone will be there by now – but I just get the answerphone. I can’t even stop my voice cracking as I leave a message.

Eventually I manage to get through to my parents – hang the expense. Good advice manages to give me a bit of a lift, but it all comes flooding back out when I’m rung on the back of the earlier answerphone message. Normally either of us would respond to a situation like this with “don’t worry I’m getting in the car now”

Oh, for a magic wand…

Posted by Tom Dolan at July 2, 2002 02:31 AM


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