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August 26, 2007

You should never meet your heroes.

Ah, Geoff Downes.

"The best keyboard player Yes ever had" - Chris Squire.

One half of the magnificent Buggles (he's the less attractive one without glasses in the videos).

Owner of one of the first Fairlights in britain. And who used it to play the brass parts on Kate Bush's "Sat In Your Lap"

For ages, a true hero of mine.

And then I read his blog...

I cursed myself for making this wrong decision - and paid the price, because I felt queasy as soon as I came out of there, as did all of us. I'm not a big fan of Chinese food at the best of times - far too greasy and bland for my liking - Ya know, have you ever seen a healthy looking Chinese person? Think about it. Exactly!

...

Well I didn't have a great night's sleep after being poisoned by those bleedin' Manchester Tong last night.

...

OK, now I don't mind the Scottish for the most part, majority I've come across being fairly decent geezers, although it has to be said, from a somewhat underprivileged and uncivilized part of the UK. - There are a few of them however that try on that Caledonian honesty/always trust a Jock image/says it down the line/we tell it like it is bla-de-bla - In my experience these are the most dangerous people from North of the Border, to be avoided, and not to be trusted at any cost. I'm guessing that Gordon Brown is in this category. He's just had his teeth done, is smiling a lot more as the affable Scot in waiting, and ready to continue the Blair legacy of fucking up our country beyond all recognition. I'll be watching this slime-ball closely over the coming months, and believe me, just because Blair is slithering off like a snake into the long grass, when the shit is about to hit the fan on Cash For Honours/Iraq/Fox-Hunting etc you name it - let's not forget, Brown's his little bumboy taking over the mantle, and expect more of the same. It could get even worse!

...

Well I got to say, not being much of wedding dude myself, having had the misfortune over the years to have been tied to 2 of the biggest witches this planet has ever produced (probably close 2nd and 3rd behind Cherie Booth Blair and/or Victoria Beckham!!), I'm fairly ambivalent about weddings.

...

Doesn't that Sting guy really annoy you?...He's slightly older than me, is as fit as a butcher's dog, got a body on him like the effin' Adonis, has written a considerable number of evergreen songs in his lifetime, massive career as a solo artist and member of a huge band, actor, icon etc...Makes you sick, dunnit? - and he's still managed to remain - 'cool'. Yeah Sting is cool - never looked a prick in video (unlike yours truly in "Don't Cry"). The only downside for him in life has got to be waking up next to that ogre of a wife of his - Trudy Styler. Gawd, is she ugly? Makes Shrek look half-feminine. And - well you ever seen her trying to act? Board and stiff are two words that immediately spring to mind. No, blessed with the looks she ain't ...In fact when the looks were being handed out, she was so far back, she didn't even know where the front of the queue started. Absolute dog. Mind yous, he's not been too lucky on the totty front over the years for a such a good-looking charismatic guy has he really? His first missus Frances Tomelty, was the scariest looking thing you ever saw in your life. Flippin' weirdo. A walking horror show. She always used to get parts in the macabre British sub-plot dramas, usually as some weird psycho-woman. You could see that she was probably not dissimilar to that in real life. She had menacing black eyes. F**king scary!

Now it just made me think about some famous but miserable people I have come across in my humble life as a small part of this great bullshit music business, and I'm reckoning smart and cool as he may be, Sting's got to be in my top ten. He was pretty off-hand with me on the one occasion when I bumped into him about 20 odd years ago at a Synclavier convention. Other racing certainties from my "Miserable Musical Bastards of the Century Award" would definitely have to include: Tony Banks from Genesis (never seen him smile), the guitarists - Gary Moore, Pete Townsend, Eric Clapton (old misery guts), Van Morrison (he's right up there!), Marillion, anyone from the prog-rock band Arena apart from John Mitchell, in fact most people from the neo-prog bands, The Spice Girls (all of them - ah sorry not in the 'musical category - my mistake!), Billy Joel (as po-faced as they come), Bob Geldof (again, doesn't really qualify because can hardly be classed 'musical' - if he were, he'd be in there!), Paul McCartney (although I never actually was introduced to him - just stood near him at a party, and could feel his miserable vibe emanating profusely) and there are quite a few more I've encountered along the way. Can't think of them all right now - try to forget 'em generally, as they could make you morose even thinking about them. There is just something about these people where you just know whatever success has brought them; they are destined to be real miserable, humourless bastards forever and a day. You'd certainly never want to be stuck next to any of them on a plane that's for sure, let alone spend any more than 2 seconds with. Anyways - f**k 'em - boring old gits! Let's keep smiling shall we folks?

Not going to be rushing to call in any favours on that one soon...

Posted by Tom Dolan at 04:46 PM | Comments (0)

August 25, 2007

(doomp doomp) This is a Sign of the Times...

The internet has come a long long way since i frist arrived on it in 1994.

I recently saw an old university friend joining a new Facebook group Those who have innappropriate thoughts about children's TV presenters.

Aside from the poor spelling, I thought 'oh here we go again'. Endless gymnastic fantasies about Sarah-Jane from Tikabilla etc.

And it was full of bloody WOMEN!

Discussing Chris from Doodle Do, Sid who does the CBBC links, that berk from Boogie Beebies - even Archie from Balamory.

This place is not what it was, you know!

Posted by Tom Dolan at 08:40 PM | Comments (0)