October 20, 2005
Sorry I'm late darling, I was reading and missed my stop...
So apparently the new video iPod is going to be an absolute godsend for the porn industry. All those people queuing up to buy video of grunting and squelching to be consumed...when exactly?
The one thing the iPod (nee walkman) was quite good at was making public space private. However the boundaries to that public space still require you to, well, stand up. Perhaps things have moved on since I was a lad, but getting off or on a train with a full-blown stiffy isn't seen as entirely socially acceptable.
"This train is being taken out of service to find out who has to get off with their coats across their laps."
Perhaps the porn will just have to be not that good? Finally a return to the Robin Asquith days of british soft-porn.
Or maybe the thrill will be part of it. The next big thing: iDogging.
October 15, 2005
Two types of people in this world
I'd kind of lost faith with Iain Banks, and only drifted back into orbit after the Piers-like stream-of-consciousness of his book on whisky, 'Raw Spirit'. But we seem to have returned to common ground, and the quote that follows makes me feel that even more so.
"It's about, do you see someone having a really tough time of things and think, Tough shit, loser? Or do you see somebody having a really tough time and think, Hmm, too bad, or Oh, that's a shame, or, Oh, poor person, I wonder how I can help? That's the choice. Choices. Choice. It's all about how nasty or nice you are."
"Wow, you really must be nice," Craig said. "You missed out the one that's worse than, Tough shit, loser."
"I did? There is one?"
"Yes; it's, Hmmm, how can I exploit this already down-and-out and therefore usefully vulnerable person for my own ends?"
October 09, 2005
Through Cambridgeshire to...enlightenment
Driving to my parents in Yorkshire is now done on a Friday night. It's a military operation, involving laundry, ironing and packing like crazy all week so everything is ready to be shoveled in the car during Daisy's bath so she can sleep all the wayto the north. The alternatives are too horrible to contemplate.
One of the grottiest bits of the journey is Cambridgeshire. It is full of four-lane-wide roads riddled with speed cameras. Everything tells you you should be going faster...it's like they've done it deliberately just for the cash. It's half an hour of concentration and needle-watching while you hang on till Linconshire and freedom from paranoia.
So it was with a certain amount of depression that the Linconshire border sign is now shortly followed by a speed camera sign.
I grit my teeth and settle down to the exact speed limit, and resign myself to another half-hour of this.
But no, I've slowed down, and then within half a mile there's a sign saying 'roundabout ahead'.
They've used the camera to get everyone down to a sensible speed in advance of the danger spot.
Four miles later, another speed camera, followed by a crossroads that has always looked a bit dicey for drives on the B-road. And so it continued. Again and again, we were encouraged out of our own excesses for our own protection.
Genius. The traffic planners of Lincolnshire - I applaud you.
October 06, 2005
For the last 45 minutes, Kate Bush's new single "King of the Mountain" has been on constant rotation on the iPod.
Welcome back Kate.
(It's also strange that in the olden days I'd have tracked down a particular old friend to make sure they'd have heard it. These days I just assume they've already found it on the internet.)